It has been too long since My last essay on the roots of sadism and aggression. I have been traveling extensively, with hardly any time for a much-needed post. Throughout My travels, My subjects have informed Me that they enjoyed reading a particular essay on objectification and usefulness written from the point of view of another slave. This prompted Me to enlist the services of the same slave, who has had years of experience serving and sessioning with numerous Mistresses in the Los Angeles area. Slaves and fetishists who are just beginning to explore their kinky selves will find his accounts insightful and hopefully helpful in determining how they should proceed to contact and serve Mistresses to the best of their abilities. More importantly, novices and even the more experienced will be granted an insider's view on what it means to be a client, a slave, a ProDomme, and an Ownership-oriented Mistress.
Below is a well-written essay by slave s.
Having patronized the Los Angeles Professional Dominatrix (Pro-Domme) scene for many years as well as doing a stint as a “house slave” to a once popular (now retired) BDSM establishment, I have first-hand experience in the world of Professional Female Domination. It is a world where on the surface, the dynamics are defined absolutely. A deeper look will reveal nuanced and blurred lines.
HOD (houses of domination), dungeons, play spaces, etc. are where the majority of professional BDSM sessions take place. These establishments are housed in private homes, apartments, and commercial facilities. Discretion is paramount for the location of a dungeon. Family men & women and prominent professionals are among those who engage the services of a Pro-Domme, exposing some of their innermost vulnerabilities. Clients are potentially compromising their outside lives yet they are grateful that the option exists and worth the risks involved.
This begs the question of who are these Dominatrices that clients lay bare before?
Many women find their way into Professional Domination through exploring with a partner, or discovers something in Herself – the headiness of power, sexual arousal. Any one of these could foster the belief that dominating people for a living is a good career choice for Her. She could be a lifestyle Domme who applies Her personal passion to Her profession. There are those – strictly Professionals – who happen to be really good actors capable of delivering satisfying sessions and once divested of their spikes and whips, leave it all behind in the dungeon, until their next appointment. Whatever the case, being a Pro-Domme is not an easy money gig. There is much more to it than simply looking good in a bustier and leather boots. To start with, traits such as self discipline, open mindedness, compassion and natural born leadership are essentiall qualities of a Dominatrix. There is a wide spectrum of fantasies and fetishes that need to be learned and safely put into practice. This requires knowledge and skills with the plethora of equipment, the abundance of fetish attire for both Herself and Her clients, and equally important, she must possess the perception to gauge a client’s psychological road map as well being confident with Her own emotional flexibility. Having exposed the basics to Herself, a common next step for the aspiring Domme is finding a mentor, an established, skilled Dominatrix who will educate her on the advanced intricacies of BDSM. A good mentor will recognize organic traits in a protégé and help Her develop Her own style as well as providing guidance about the business aspects such as marketing, knowing how to schedule sessions and ancillary revenue streams such as video clips.
Mainstream Professional Female Domination is presented as strictly play for pay. The “client” pays a pre-set fee for an agreed-upon time period for the Professional to create a scene for fantasy/fetish fulfillment. The fee is usually referred to as a tribute or donation to better fit the Mistress/slave dynamic.
Initial contact usually occurs through web portals such as Eros and Backpage where one can find city by city listings of Pro Dominatrices advertising their services. Personally, i recommend starting with Eros.com as they have the been the leading marketing tool of Pro Dommes for many years. The most established Pro Dommes promote themselves on that site. It is free for the user but charges the advertisers which is a positive for the Domme. It’s what sets Eros apart from Backpage which doesn’t charge advertisers. In addition to many legitimate Dommes, Backpage does have a bit of a reputation for being populated with some who are questionable.
Each portal offers a wide variety of options to the submissive in search of a Professional Dominatrix. Those options include of both House and Independent Mistresses. Simply, a House Mistress is exclusive to one BDSM establishment while the Independent Mistress reserves and rents time in those facilities or utilizes a private play space. When selecting a Mistress, it is advisable to look beyond first reactions to the appearance of a Domme before impulsively booking an appointment. Authentic Dominas have their web ads linked to a personal website. Take the time to read it thoroughly. If it contains thoughtful content such as an extensive blog, that is a good indicator of a solid, genuine Domme. In addition, many Mistresses maintain social media feeds on Twitter and Instagram where much can be gleaned about her uniqueness and your compatibility to her Femdom approach. It’s also helpful to check out video clips in which a potential session Domme appears. A lot of real professional Mistresses produce clips that are easily accessible on the web. Another good resource in the selection process is MaxFisch. It is filled with current information about the Professional Femdom scene, including a section of reviews by subs who have experienced sessions.
Initial contact is usually made online, via email or social media. After an exchange of interests, expectations and limits, the Domme determines whether the potential client is a fit for her style. If so concluded, the session proceeds. It is common practice for legitimate Professional Mistresses to require a nominal deposit prior to consenting to a first session with a new sub. This is necessary due to the excess of flaky inquiries a Domme receives. They have to schedule time, secure a space and prepare for specific requests. “No shows” are disrespectful, disruptive and costly. If it’s clear that she is an established Domme with a footprint in her home city, there is little risk in depositing. I have remitted many and have never been ripped off.
Following these suggestions will assist a sincere sub sort through the maze of information available and lead to the exciting, rewarding experience he seeks.
A successful session may result in the client becoming a regular. Regulars are the bread and butter of Pro-Dommes. A vital tool to a Dominatix’s business is the hook, a method to keep safe and profitable clients returning. She uses her insight into her client’s psyche to effectively set the hook. It could be simply the way she wields a whip, certain word triggers, administration of aftercare, dangling a coveted carrot, etc. This is not to suggest anything scheming or deceptive. Subs respond to Femdom manipulation; it is on some level what they desire. A legitimate, talented Dominatrix can expertly manipulate while staying within ethical bounds, developing a trusting bond that sustains the relationship. Clients who session reliably provide stability to their Domme.
Dominatrices are deluged with inquires of which a significant percentage are insincere. A smart Domme hones her filter to quickly weed out the time-wasters, curiosity seekers, phone wankers, needy horndogs, and so-called subs whose hidden agenda shatters propriety by insisting on sex, offering either richer tribute or a boastful promise that the Mistress will be treated to the most electrifying sex ever. These men behave this way despite the fact that without exception every legitimate Domme makes clear in her stated guidelines that sexual services are not an option. The Crème De La Crème of Dominas are extremely selective on who they allow into their orbit--they are no one's cheap conquest to be bought.
The scene in major cities are rife with terrifically skilled Dominatrices with expertise in every area of BDSM. (It should be noted that while there is competition for business among local Pro Dommes, there does exist a strong sisterhood designed to keep client-stealing in check, and to ensure the safety of these bold Women. Many of these Women are friends and frequently work together, doing multi-domme sessions, video shoots and play parties. They certainly discuss the industry and invariably find overlapping clients.)
Another subject that warrants mentioning is the fairly recent phenomenon of the financial domme or findomme, a woman who takes pleasure in financially exploiting submissive men. Financial Domination is a real fetish and can be safely explored by a responsible Domme and her subjects. Most FinDommes only offer exclusively online interactions in which live-streamed phone/video calls or even simple chats are the only methods of contact. Some are legitimate and serve a real need for the financial slave but kinky social media sites such as Collarspace and ALT.com are flooded with them, the majority of which are cons. It is difficult and costly to sort them out. Many of these young women do their scamming in cahoots with a guy, working together to milk as much as they can from their victim. It has become a sad blight on the world of Femdom, many established Pro-Dommes are disgusted by them. It only hurts their business and tarnishes the profession they have worked hard at succeeding.
While numerous fantasies of kinks are presented to a Domme, the highly sought-after ones are choosy about to whom they will grant audience. Generally, clients can be delineated into two categories. The fetishist and the slave.
The fetishist and the ProDomme can generally conduct a session that is very specifically directed, scripted, and unequivocal in its goal. Once the session concludes (usually with some sort of climax – either physical or mental), the fetishistic tension is relieved and the yearnings are out of range until they build again. He may never think about or desire contact with the Domme until then.
The fetish menu is broad and includes the infliction physical pain, leather, bondage, feminization/sissification, fixation on a specific female body part, water sports, breath control, smoking, etc. (and can have more than one). Many fetishists require that the session structure is repeated exactly in every encounter.
During my time as a house slave, I became closely familiar with many fetish scenes. One fetishist wanted nothing more than to be trussed up and placed in a closet for two hours while the Dommes of the Dungeon conducted other sessions. The only attention he received was when a Domme would open the closet door, flick cigarette ashes and spit on him, nothing more. When the session time ended, one of the Dommes would order him to masturbate to completion before he departed, a satisfied customer. Another would come to the dungeon and simply serve as a doormat and foot rest for women with open toed sandals. It had to be that exact footwear. At the end of the session, he too was made to satisfy himself and sent happily away. A third man was made to dress like a maid and ordered to clean the bathroom--not the kitchen, not the bedroom, not the office. Just the bathroom. He would change from his business suit, squeezing into a tightly small French maid outfit with painful high heels and proceed to spend the majority of his paid time alone, scrubbing the toilet, shower, and sink to absolute immaculateness. Towards the end, the overseeing Domme would inspect his work, invariably finding some reason to be dissatisfied and exact punishment with a nasty whip. In these examples, the details of the scene never varied, however, the Dommes were interchangeable. It seems the fetishist enjoys fulfilling fantasies than actually serving and pleasing the whims of a Dominant Mistress. He has submissive tendencies but really only submits in the framework of his requested session. There is nothing wrong with this given that the Pro-Domme world also exists to allow fetishists such specified sessions.
The slave differs from the fetishists in that he thrives on serving his Mistress. Certainly his likes will be addressed but the sessions is centered around submitting to Her will. This often requires the Mistress to open Herself up a little more to the sub as opposed to being in Super-heroine Dominatrix mode all of the time. Slaves can be more work than a fetishist. They desire more contact and attention, will forever try to prove their worth beyond sessions (sometimes to annoying degrees). It is true slave clients can be more taxing to a Domme but in some instances more rewarding to Her.
I consider myself a slave. In fact, what you are reading is an act of servitude. The Mistress I presently serve, whose name sits atop this blog, directed me to relate my decades of participating in and observing Professional Female Domination because She thinks a slave’s point of view on the subject would make a worthy addition to her blog (if executed to Her liking). She further suggested I include how I evolved from a thrill-seeking session client to wanting to be owned and serve beyond my sexual fantasies. There is no promise of reward for completing this task or threat of punishment should I not. I do what Miss Zhang wants because not doing so simply is not an option for me. Whatever She asks I will at least attempt, exerting my best effort, driven by my devotional desire to benefit Her.
I have had vivid fantasies of being dominated by women from a very early age. In my teens, I found Femdom porn which led to the discovery of Professional Dominants. I visited as many as I could, wanting to have my fantasies of Goddess-worship and degradation to be acted out by every different type available. Some of those were just one-time sessions but as I explored more, I would find a Mistress who would fulfill my fantasies with true relish and so I would become a regular client of Hers. There would not be a strong emotional draw, just the pure sexuality of it would keep me coming back in those younger days. I would see my favorite Dommes over half a dozen sessions, though there was one Mistress who I saw on and off for a few years. I can’t say I genuinely worshipped Her but this woman took me to the heights (or depths, actually) of subjugation which was hard to find elsewhere. I was still very young at that time, in my early to mid 20’s.
Many more sessions followed but at some point, sessions no longer satisfied me. I had long given up trying to be a partner in a vanilla situation. In order for me to want to see a Mistress, I have to have a connection, I have to be able to want to worship Her as it no longer relates to my sexual fantasies. I engaged in several personal D/s relationships with both lifestyle and Pro Dommes. That does not mean I did not compensate the Pro-Dommes, it is their career and livelihood after all and there are other ways of contributing than leaving a set donation. One Mistress would place 3 blank envelopes before me and each would contain a personal bill of Hers. I would choose one and that would be my responsibility to fulfill. Those were simple, very effective way of making financial contributions more personal. In the few relationships that have developed, each took time, trust and knowledge of the other. It is an intimate (not romantic) dynamic. As a true personal slave, you must put aside the pure fantasy that may have drawn you to your Mistress. You must realize that She is a human and may not want to be the all knowing Domme, always right power woman. If a true bond exists, she will, at times, reveal other sides of Herself to show that She is human after all. As a slave, it is my greatest achievement for Me to serve a Mistress when she is just being herself. It is too much of a burden for someone to be constantly infallible. There may be rare times you will have to respectfully assert yourself for your Mistresses greater good. You will have know Your Mistress well when choosing those moments.
In the Mistress/slave dynamic both parties face unique challenges. Let’s assume she has a stable of clients made up of 10 slaves and 10 fetishists. The latter can be put aside. But the other 9 of the former are also seeking your Mistress' attention and favor with as much zeal as you are. With all the eager slaves grabbing for a piece of Her, a Mistress must construct protective barriers and strict guidelines. The aloofness that is characteristic of Mistresses is not only intrinsic to her dominant persona but mandatory for her own personal balance. She must measure her energy and create space to constantly replenish. There is only so much of Her to go around. Also, She most likely has a social life outside of her Femdom world that includes boyfriends, lovers, vanilla suitors, family and friends, etc. (Personally, i never ask for variety of sound reasons). The point is, if you are lucky enough to become a slave to a Pro Domme, without question you will be sharing Her with others. In my experience, only by mutual agreement will these relationships intersect. Self-preservation induces the Mistress to become quite adept at compartmentalizing and she NEEDS to do so for Her emotional health and well being.
The world of Professional Female Domination is vastly intriguing and caters to many kink identities. Whether one is a fetishist or a slave, a self-proclaimed sissy, a proud pervert, or all of the above and more, Pro-Dommes have made themselves available to help us explore, accept, and enjoy these parts of ourselves that few others are able to understand. My hope is that by writing this essay for Miss Zhang, it would allow other subs -- veterans and novices alike -- to gain a deeper understanding of the Professional Domination world and the Women who rule it.